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John Branyan's Comedy Sojourn Podcast

Aug 28, 2017

THIS EPISODE: I'm talking about being bullied by a handicapped person. Luke and Mandy (Peaches) join me.
First, we're video taping the beginning of this podcast! It's fascinating but I can't do it for the whole episode because I am incapable of operating two devices at the same time.
I tell the tale of a guy with Parkinson's scamming me. I gotta tell you, Pkarlgh, it bothers me to be lied to even when the liar is handicapped.
The video ends and I ask the question, "Is it okay to lie to people as long as you're handicapped?" The Peaches doesn't comment right away so I yell at her.
At times, it seems better to me to get ripped off than to deny someone who asks for help. Then I tell a story about a colostomy bag.
Luke may have accidentally invented a fantastic technique for dealing with people who are asking for food. Emmi kind of throws a tantrum then goes suddenly silent. Don't panic, Pkarlgh. Luke just put her to bed.
We ponder whether or not it's good to setup a GoFundMe account just because you want stuff (like pizza). Maybe some people don't have family to help them because they've alienated their family.  BUT MAYBE NOT...We don't judge!*
I had a guy ask me for money minutes after being mugged! (No kidding.)
It seems important to note that Jesus didn't hand out cash to people. (Could be my hatred for the poor bubbling to the surface but I don't think so...)
Peaches snaps at me when I try to interrupt her so I retreat (temporarily) to escape her wrath. She tries to make the point that Jesus didn't help people based on the color of their skin or their gender. (Then she points out that Jesus WAS a person of color!  I'm telling you, Pkarlgh, she's out of control!)
(Notice that Luke hasn't said much so far. He's still in the room. Hunkered in the corner just waiting to throw out an incredibly profound comment...)
Peaches admits she's difficult to get along with and tries to blame it on a disability.
We decide it's not possible to affirm or deny support for EVERY GROUP IN EXISTENCE! (Luke says some stuff but it's not the profound statement yet...keep listening.)
I answer the question, "Do you like Donald Trump?"
We confirm that riots do not effectively express an argument. 
Then, we sidetrack talking about urine filled balloon. And I offer a million dollar idea for you, Pkarlgh. It's right  there, all you need to do is run with it!  See you on Shark Tank!
Peaches brings us back to the topic she wanted to discuss. When you're trying to decide whether to be pro-hatred or anti-hatred, you need to know which group stands for anti-hate and it's hard to know when they're both throwing pee filled balloons at each other.
We make a decision about people who draw conclusions based solely on the source of an idea. (People who do this are idiots.)
Then we talk about the American Disability Act and probably offend everyone who uses a wheelchair. We mention oil spills too. THINK OF THE TURTLES!
(I didn't realize the microphone was so close to the coffee machine!!  It kinda sounds like somebody is taking a leak but it's coffee. I promise.)
I confess that I used to have anxiety using products from evil corporations. 
It would be a great idea to let racist, hateful people talk. Let them talk and talk. Then, nobody will pay attention to them.
Then Luke unleashes a fantastic quote that would have ended the podcast if he had said it earlier.
And then it's back to colostomy bags...
*Yes. We do.