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John Branyan's Comedy Sojourn Podcast

Mar 20, 2017

My podcast thingy broke and the first, violence-laden, conversation about Calvinism disappeared from existence.
First, though, what is up with the Big Mac? Good grief, McDonalds...
Dave Pendleton graciously agreed to repeat the conversation and so we armed ourselves for battle and plunged into the debate. So, Calvinism...what is it? Is it right? Am I really using the word as an insult? Dave thinks I'm unfairly portraying the views so I give him a chance to set me straight.  We try to remember the TULIP for Calvinism and end up needing to Google it. Sad. David is not a 'hard' Calvinist. I'm not a 'hard' Armenian. Neither of us have had enough coffee to even have this discussion but we do it anyway. There are a lot of really great thinkers who can make a case for Calvinism and none of them are on this podcast. 
Do we take some credit for salvation? David says, "yes". I says, "no". We break beer bottles and slash at each other with the jagged pieces.
Do we have free will? David says 'sort of'. I say 'yep'. We hack each other with machetes.
I give my excellent illustration for how Jesus is like Chik-fil-a.  I say it's a great illustration but Dave still doesn't immediately renounce Calvinism. So...that's a little disappointing.  My friend is annoyed that people want to take "credit" for salvation. I shoot him with a spear gun.
We wonder why God bothered giving us brains if we aren't supposed to use them. Ultimately, there is no disagreement between us. So we go at each other with ball bats because we're still pretty worked up from before.
Maybe we can't take credit for anything.  What is 'motivation' if there's no free will?  Sort of a license to take Sunday off and quit trying to teach Christians stuff. This is good news for people who like naps!  Dave swings a pool cue at me. I lay out an explanation of what I call "Theological Determinism". Then I push Dave into a barrel of sulfuric acid.
We mention R.C. Sproul a few times and wish he had been available to talk to us. Sent me Sproul's cell number and I'll give him a jingle for next time. Nobody has perfect theology so maybe we should just give up the conversation. But instead, we shock each other with cattle prods.
Maybe we should strive for a combination of intellect and intuition. Maybe not. I think there's value in thinking. Dave agrees. Then, pistols at 20 paces.
Religion and science are not at odds. We need them both. And there are elements of truth in both. Our understanding of both is lacking. Dave quotes the book of Romans. I respond with a karate chop to his throat.
David brings up a great point about Abraham and Isaac. For the first time in the conversation, there is no bloodletting.
So we talk briefly about 'The Shack' and that leads to punching each other with brass knuckled fists. In the midst, we are critical of people who are critical of us.
Tim Keller's book Reason for God enters the conversation. We finally agree that we like that book. Then we discuss David's upcoming tour and how you, Carl, are anxiously awaiting this podcast so you'll have all your answers about Calvinism answered.