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John Branyan's Comedy Sojourn Podcast

Sep 25, 2017

EPISODE - Tim Branyan Gets Married!  You're invited to tag along for some behind the scenes stuff.
My eldest son is getting married! I'm kind of busy but I'm going to try and capture a few conversations. I need help with my tie. The girls are wearing heels. And I complain about the double standards for bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Peaches makes a run to Starbucks and explains how the barista assigned a new label for Tabitha.  They seem to indicate that there is more than one bride in this wedding, which confuses me but I don't ask because I don't want to appear foolish.
The groomsmen offer some conversation while they get ready for the event. It's really not that great...Timothy is surprised the photographers didn't come to take picture of the groomsmen getting ready.  
I get a few thoughts from Tim. He confesses that he cried during the rehearsal (but I already knew that). None of the guys can explain why my vest is pink.
Apparently, the groomsmen didn't let any women know what color socks they were wearing because the socks are totally disrespectful.
Peaches refuses to interview the bride prior to the wedding. She accuses ME of being annoying with the podcast machine. I'm kinda hurt but nobody can tell because I'm a rock.  Tabby refuses to help me too.  My niece is the only one who's remotely helpful and she's only 10 years old.
Tabby interviews me in a sad attempt to replace the bride's interview. I do a poor job of explaining my point of view. Then everybody makes fun of my hair.
I never do get to interview my daughter-in-law (Marla). But I do interview Andrew (the Best Man) and he reveals more stuff about Tim that everybody already knew.
Then, I drop the podcast machine and destroy it.
Turns out...I didn't destroy it after all. After the wedding, we have a lot of bubbles left over. This family can't seem to remember the bubbles.
...And I can't remember to turn the podcast recorder on.  So I try to get Peaches to repeat our conversation but she refuses because she's easily annoyed.
Mexican food should be served at every wedding reception. There, I said it.  Cami offers her thoughts on the wedding which she distills into a single word.
I'm skeptical that two matrons of honor can share the office equally but apparently it didn't bother anyone else. Peaches gives her impression of the wedding and it's shocking. SHOCKING!  Luke is happy that Pintrest wasn't invented when they got married.
We all were duly impressed with Marla's commentary during the reception. She's wise for her age.
Tabby and Joe arrive and update us on the taste of their anniversary cake.  Allen and Judy are here too. Judy's anniversary cake was flattened by a bad throw.
The conversation then shifts to how easy it is to walk into places where you should not go. We discuss how easy it would be to steal stuff from church.
Tabby argues with Allen about the freshness of Papa Murphy pizza. (She doesn't know what she's talking about.)
Somebody mentions GFS so I give my mandatory sales pitch for the Christmas Cookie dough they sell.
We discuss musicals and movies. (It occurs to me that we're not a cultured family.) The first animated movie my mom took me to see was a huge mistake. I don't remember much about it except that Mom felt horrible taking us to see it. (
I finish with a personal insight regarding the wedding day.